Things I’ve learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas.
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR’s do not eject “PB &J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
via b&p

June 30th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
i wanted to try the clorox and brake fluid thing, but after i read number 24 i’m not sure if it will even work now
June 30th, 2006 at 1:39 pm
anybody know if this actually does work?
June 30th, 2006 at 5:16 pm
I think I have a partial bottle of brake fluid..
June 30th, 2006 at 8:29 pm
Ok, you got me. I took mental inventory in search of both ingredients before I got to 24.
July 1st, 2006 at 3:54 pm
where do i buy clorox
Nice kids you have
July 2nd, 2006 at 1:47 am
Beware, Chlorox fumes are likely to contain Chlorine gas, which is highly toxic. It will, for instance burn off the inside of your nose, mouth, throat, and lungs, whilst stripping the surface from your eyes… That’s why it was a little unpopular in the trenches, when used as a weapon by both sides in world war one.
So, guys, we don’t let that scare us, we’re men, and we don’t need to read the label or wear protective clothing do we?
But do it outdoors, stay upwind, keep children and pets away, prepare an exscuse for your significant other who will, of course demand to know what you are doing…
Oh, and as it’s probably classed as a chemical weapon, expect the fire and police department to be intrigued in a not very friendly way if they get to hear about it.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:09 am
it does work takes about 45mins to 1 hour but it does work!!!!! But what ever you DO NOT ADD MORE CHOLRINE TABS when it is done smoking it will catch fire in a hurry and in a big way trust me i did it just the other night.
May 30th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
[...] Militantplatypus Blog Archive Things I 39 ve learned from my Boys Posted by root 1 hour 16 minutes ago (http://militantplatypus.mps-games.com) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on it will for instance burn off the inside of your nose mouth throat and lungs whilst stripping the surface from your eyes leave a reply you must be logged in to post a comment powered by wordpres Discuss | Bury | News | Militantplatypus Blog Archive Things I 39 ve learned from my Boys [...]